Sean D. Francis

Learning the Deeper Motivations of Others

Posted on 12 September 2011 | Comments Off

I joined Audible the other day.

This in and of itself is a pretty trivial bit of information for me to share.  Trust me when I say I have a reason and that reason does relate to my month of self-improvement through attitude adjustment. One of the first books I bought I purchased for marketing purposes and admittedly for a selfish ‘maybe this will help’ purposes.  I’m far too embarrassed to mention the title but suffice it to say, the book is one of those self-help books that is supposed to assist and guide someone like me in interacting with others. Read more

Love and Career

Posted on 7 September 2011 | Comments Off

My quest for a more contented life boils down to two key elements: love and career.

I don’t think I’m unique in this way. People want to be in love, have love an active ongoing part of their life, and they want a life with meaningful challenges that rewards them with a sense of satisfaction and enough wealth to afford a comfortable lifestyle.

Last night I got into a conversation with a woman I used to date.  It was via text messages which always makes for a stilted conversation.  Not my favorite way to have a discussion but still a viable method for discourse.  I can’t say what her motivation for contacting me was but she had brought up my self-improvement month.  We had a nice back-and-forth about my efforts and her efforts to make improvements in ourselves.

I made the statement to her, “You are finding your way. It will all come together eventually.”  She responded with “You will too.” Read more

Attitude Adjustment Through Metaphorical Altitude Adjustment

Posted on 6 September 2011 | 3 responses

Attitude adjustment has proven to be a difficult process for me.  I can fall into patterns of self-abuse so easily, it is rote for me.  Once again, I curse the lack of variety in the tools I can use to accomplish this goal.  I am committed to the process, though, so there is no turning back.

Once I started this process I started thinking back on all the ‘tools’ I use for interpersonal communication and conflict resolution.  Conflict resolution came to mind because what is happening is I am essentially in conflict with myself.  I’m the boss of myself and I’m disappointed in my employee’s behavior and I’m getting a bit belligerent about it.

When I’m actually in conflict with someone else or am advising someone regarding a conflict they are having, I use the phrase ‘Rise above it.’    In my point of view, we get two options regarding conflict, we can get down in the mud and fight it out or we can rise above it and move on.  Yet, whenever I get in conflict with myself, I can’t help but fall right in the mud and wrestle with myself.
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Lead People in Their Perception of You

Posted on 4 September 2011 | Comments Off

A benefit and curse of being ‘a nice guy’ is I have a lot of women friends and they confide a lot of information to me, including their insecurities.  I often make the statement, “Men are stupid, they don’t know if a woman is hot until she tells him she is.”

Of course this is a hyper-simple statement, meant to bolster ego than anything, but there is a gem of truth in it and it doesn’t apply to just men.  In terms of how other people treat us, a lot of it is based on how we treat ourselves.  Our words and actions in how they relate to ourselves is a giant, huge, massive road sign for how others treat us.  Read more

Do People In Your Life Make Change Impossible?

Posted on 3 September 2011 | Comments Off

As I take steps to make an attitude adjustment, I can’t help but look back at other attempts I’ve made to alter my worldview and the role people in my life played. It is kind of astonishing that what some people considered motivation, I felt as meddling and assaulting.  We can’t escape who we were, ever. No matter how much forgiveness we give ourselves for past behavior and actions, someone in our lives will be there to drag us back to those moments, dredge up the negative.  No matter how much we change, adjust our attitudes, the people in our lives will wait and watch for any slip, any sign of a backslide.

Change frightens everyone, it is just some people do better at adapting while others struggle to prevent it from happening at all.  One change usually begets another and another and pretty soon, nothing is the same.  Relationships get altered, careers change, and the dour and depressed become happy and content.
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Adjusting Attitudes with a Limited Toolbox

Posted on 2 September 2011 | Comments Off

Every time I try to make an affirmation, I can’t help but think of Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live… “I’m good enough… I’m smart…” blech.  How does anyone know if they are good enough, smart enough, or if people like them?

As part of Self-Improvement Month, I’m attempting to adjust my attitude.  Dangit, there I go again, I always hedge my statements. I find that I do everything in my power to avoid making absolute statements.  Absolute statements don’t make sense to me, but these statements of carefully managed expectations do nothing to change my perception of myself and other people’s perception of me. Read more

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