More ‘Whee!’ Less ‘Woe is Me.’
September, by whatever agency decrees these things, is self-improvement month. Really. I looked it up and everything.
Last week, in response to one of my standard mopey Tweets, a friend chided me in a very direct fashion. Then a few days later I received a call from my sister who responded to my similar mopey statement ‘that I’m just not good at this’ regarding meeting and interacting with people by saying that maybe this time it will be different. She then said that I needed to improve my attitude.A day later I heard September was Self-Improvement month and when I contemplated what I would improve about myself (looks? wardrobe?) only one thing really stood out… I needed to improve my attitude. This isn’t going to be simple by any stretch of the imagination. I’ve cultivated this attitude through decades of disappointment, rejection, abandonment and misunderstanding. Yet, my attitude probably has become part of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“I really want a date, but not with you.”
I do go into dates with a certain level of loathing. A part of me is already loathing the person on the other side of the table for having so much power over me. When pretty and eligible women bemoan their lack of dates and then reject me I can’t help be feel worse, because what these women are really bemoaning is the lack of attractive, eligible men wanting to date them.
That trepidation and negative vibe can’t help in securing a second date. And in fact it probably leaks through my initial emails. I’ve dealt with it partially by becoming self-effacing and self deprecating. Hey, here, I’ll help you ignore me and don’t worry about beating up on me, I’ll do that for you as well. I think this is what is known in certain circles as ‘anti-charming’. In my world view though, a person can’t hurt me if I hurt myself first. It is a sick type of selfish martyrdom.
Less ‘Woe is Me.‘
I put out my negativity to the world a bit too much. If people are not commenting on the fact that they think I’m way too negative, it means I’ve shared too much. I’ve written about keeping journals before and I need to transfer this negativity towards my journaling instead of releasing it to the world As my friend said, it is very unbecoming.
What really needs to happen is not having those feelings of ‘woe is me’ but that isn’t exactly going to happen immediately. The first step is cutting back on it. I always felt that by expressing my negative emotions I was releasing them but I may actually be taking a minor thing and turning it into something bigger. At least making the people around me think it is something bigger than it actually is.
More ‘Whee!’
For those who do spend time with me in a face-to-face capacity, they don’t find me to be an unhappy person. I laugh and joke, I’m engaged with the conversation, and tend to be a fun person to be around. Or at least I’m led to believe that. I’ve always thought I expressed this along with negativity. Yet, my joy and happiness doesn’t seem to be balancing out the negative emotions.
I need to better express my delight, my happiness, my joy and by doing so improve how people perceive me.
Personal Daily Affirmation
Part of this process will be sending out a personal daily affirmation to myself and to others who may get something from it, but I hate (whoops there is the negativity again)… I don’t find much value in generic affirmations. I cannot lie, I think affirmations are a bit silly. How can a sentence change anything? Yet, I seem to have been doing a great job of doing Daily Renunciations. This concept boils down to a simple
Today’s Personal Affirmation:
I deserve success and the rewards that come with success.
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About Sean
Sean D. Francis is a technologist, writer, and geek. He podcasts, makes video, and dabbles in all the geeky genres including horror, sci-fi, and fantasy. View all posts by Sean → This entry was posted in Thoughts and tagged affirmation, featured, self improvement. Bookmark the permalink.← Between Empire and Frontier | Adjusting Attitudes with a Limited Toolbox →
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Sneakydevi
