Nobody Uses the Internet on Friday

Yo, surfa, you looking for a good time? I’ve seen you cruisin’ the streets, you’ra lookin’ for action and action is what I’ve got for you.  Don’t worry, there ain’t no one around. It’s Friday.  Nobody uses the Internet on Friday.  This is just between you and me and the tens of thousands of servers that will log and save this transaction.

Right now in Washington D.C., our supposed beloved capitol of the United States (for all the patriotic rhetoric people spew out, there sure is a lot of hate for the government) the Whigs and the Know-nothings are trying to figure out what their actual jobs are.  See, Congress has one very important role which is supposed to take up most of their time – figuring out what the government is going to spend money on and how to raise that money.  I’m not going to pretend that doing this is a simple job.  Last year, Congress couldn’t even do it.  This year, they haven’t been able to do it yet and it looks like the Know-nothings won’t agree on a compromise unless the Whigs agree to enslaving women.  It’s all in the budget somewhere and none of it makes a lick of sense to Mr. and Mrs. Joe Average American who realize that there are much, much, much bigger problems facing the country than trying to solve the abortion problem that has nagged this country for decades in less than a week.

I guess for small government advocates and libertarians, this is great. Only the self funded parts of the government and emergency services stay in place.  The post office and law enforcement, the two best elements of the Federal government.

Maybe U.S. politicians need a lesson in what compromise is.  Consider Eppelheim, Germany for a moment. The mayor of Eppelheim had a problem. Those darn kids wouldn’t sit on the park benches in a proper fashion.  They would sit on the back of the benches and put their feet on the seat of the bench, making the bench dirty for the pensioners who also strolled through the park.  Social etiquette in Germany is important enough that one pensioner knifed a teen for putting his feet on a train seat.  A quick word to German teens… your elders are scary people, keep your feet off the seats! The mayor of Eppelheim realized you can’t thwart the rebellious spirit of today’s youth.  Instead, he engineered a compromise (notice my effective and efficient use of all the German stereotypes) by redesigning the benches so the seat became the back of the bench.

Meanwhile, back in America, “Arkansas Governor Mike Beebe signed a bill on Wednesday that bans students from wearing clothing that exposes ‘underwear, buttocks or the breast of a female.‘” Yeah, that will work. Teens are so attuned to such laws and I think it is well worth the time of law enforcement to take time away from preventing violent crime to make sure young adults pull their pants up.  There are some things that you just can’t legislate into existence and in fact, the legislation just makes it more tempting.

Ah, politicians, is there any problem they can’t make worse by imposing a closed minded worldview upon?

Luckily the government doesn’t control the Internet so when the government shuts down, we can still watch our cute kitten videos as the infrastructure of the country collapses around us.  Levees? Who needs levees? Interstates? Bah, those are for socialist fools.  The FDA? I don’t need Big Brother telling me if my chicken is safe or not, that is why I have a stomach.  If I get sick, I know it was bad meat and I’ll never buy from that place ever again! If I survive, that is.  As an uninsured American, my access to healthcare is almost nil.

Welcome to the future – is this post-apocalyptic enough for you?