Sean D. Francis

Nobody uses the internet on Friday

Posted on 19 February 2010

Another Friday and look at that, the internet is just sitting there, unused. Now is the time for me to take it and do with it what I want.

The new ‘search’ of the internet is ‘local’. I know, all these phrases and words that barely make sense are the new ‘I want to punch you in the face’ but this is what we are stuck with. We allowed it to grow and develop in the 80s; we only have ourselves to blame.

Have you seen Please Rob Me yet? It is a site that combs through Twitter data looking for people who use geolocation services and then sends a tweet letting the world know that the individual is away from home and ready to be robbed. Pretty awful stuff, until you think about it. I was all set to unlink my Gowalla, my Foursquare, my geolocation service on Google Buzz, and to start walking around in a big cardboard box in order to hide from cameras and satellites.

Then this morning I was reminded by NPR.org that my movement is predictable. Especially my movement since I fall into the category of ‘home body’. The newest study indicates that my movement can be predicted with up to 93% accuracy. So whether I’m broadcasting my location or not, anyone who wants to rob me just needs to stake out my day and would know.

So to the would be robbers, all I ask is don’t leave a big mess. You are leaving enough trauma in your wake. Oh, and the electronics in the closet are all broken waiting to go to the recycle center, so take ‘em if you want ‘em, you’ll be saving me some time.

You know, I think I may need a better defense. I should get a 75-year-old granny to watch my place, they seem better than a pit bull.

I should put the internet back into the closet. I don’t want to break it.